We’ve been on the path toward grace for twenty one days. At times, the turns appeared treacherous and it was tempting to veer off and pursue a diversion. However, in hugging the road and staying the steady course, we will reach our destination. In case you need it, here’s a summary of the entire challenge.
Here is a brief recap of the past week.
Day 15: Identify an Air Pocket
Grief can seem all-consuming. In identifying and managing what you can control, accepting what you can’t, and nourishing what is hopeful and positive in your life, you create an emotional air pocket through which you can breathe while you wait to heal.
Day 16: Practice Patience
A confusing and frustrating aspect about the grief process is that it is not linear.
Believing that no matter how painful your situation is, it is neither pervasive nor permanent will help you become more patient. Life is a compilation of moments, and each one offers you the option to choose what you will think, how you will feel, and how you will respond. How we view our life and our circumstances can change literally in an instant. New options will present themselves if we will be patient and wait.
Day 17: Decide to let go
Letting go is a choice that takes a lot of courage because it requires that you release your attachment to someone who you may still love. Attachment is a primal human need. Even if we are attached to someone in a very negative way – through anger – we are connected. To detach starts with setting an intention to let go, followed by a commitment to your future. Even if you don’t have a vision for what that looks like in this moment, commit to creating a vision.
Day 18: Go Solo
What can you do to survive your first set of holidays alone? Expect awkward moments, give yourself permission to say no, and plunge in. Remember that it is your attitude about being divorced or newly single that affects others’ perceptions. Project self-confidence, and showcase your social skills. Your marital status is the least important thing about you.
Day 19: Spend Wisely
You can’t give more than you have. Without firm boundaries, it is easy to fall into the trap of over-giving and people pleasing. The holidays can become a season of obligation, leaving you emotionally bankrupt. Instead of feeling guilty that you are letting other people down and falling short of their expectations, reframe the situation. In creating the space you need to address your own needs, you are positioning your relationships for success. It is only when your needs are met, that you can fully engage with someone else.
Day 20: Embrace Abundance
Human nature is to cling to what we have, even if it’s not that good. Many of us operate within a model of scarcity, which says resources are limited. This belief narrows the realm of possibility and heightens despair. It also invites comparison and competition.
How much does the idea of scarcity contribute to the fear and anxiety you may be experiencing as you navigate your current transition? What if you operated from a belief in abundance? The Universe holds plenty of love, money, and opportunity for everyone. How would this shift your current perspective?
So where do we go from here?
It’s time to start looking into the future. We’ll look at how you can prepare for success, the power in paying it forward, and how to begin to create a vision for your future.