Human nature is to cling to what we have, even if it’s not that good. Many people stay in jobs and relationships past the time that the job or the person has proven toxic. There are many reasons, but a big one is that many of us operate within a model of scarcity, which says resources are limited.
This belief narrows the realm of possibility and heightens despair. It also invites comparison and competition. It there isn’t a plenitude of love, money and food, I need to be smarter, prettier, faster and better than my peers to be sure I get enough.
We’ve all met these people; they need to dominate the sandbox. They are suspicious of peer relationships, instead seeking the one-up position.
Operate from a Belief in Abundance
One of my executive coaching clients spent part of our call comparing herself to one of her peers. She carefully noted areas in which she excelled and could “beat out” the other woman. When I asked why it wasn’t possible for both women to succeed, she was stumped. She firmly believed in the either/or model.
Then, I asked her how she would feel if she believed there was enough money, prestige and opportunity for both of them. After hesitating, she responded, “well, then I would feel more relaxed.” She might as well have added, more joyful.
Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Plenty of Love, Money and Opportunity
How much does the idea of scarcity contribute to the fear and anxiety you may be experiencing as you navigate your current transition? Grief accompanies any transition, but how much of your pain is really fear? If you lost a love partner, in addition to missing that person, do you worry that he or she was the one person who will ever love you?
What if you operated from a belief in abundance? The Universe holds plenty of love, money, and opportunity for everyone. Because, in fact, it does. How would this shift your current perspective? How might this belief influence your behavior?
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